The tale of the holy grail

Generic Holy Grail image (Thanks Google images!)

Transgendered individuals have a tendency to have this ultimate goal, what the holy grail was to that nazi with the circular glasses and what eating a smurf is to Gargomel. We are talking the big enchilada, the cookie that doesn't crumble, having your cake and then when no one is looking scoffing it. This simple goal is known as "passing" and it involves having all that see you assuming you are the gender you are trying to portray.

Some people take decades before they can get away with this, others get away with it within weeks (those bitches). For some this is the be all and end all of life, they don't consider themselves to be possibly happy before they get away with passing. Others, more laid back with life, just wait till it comes about naturally. But no matter what any Tgirl or Tguy tell you, that big moment is a massive achievement.

So you can probably guess which direction this is going, last night was one of the first times I headed out somewhere really really trying to pass (I mean I do try with my girl ^^ But I'm never trying to pass, I'm simply trying to look pretty for her, yeah I know I'm girly). I had my new wonderful business / casual low cut white shirt and some tight pants, and more importantly I was confident. See I'v been chatting happily with my girl and she thinks that people have been looking at me quizzically less and less, and the general happiness of life recently is real boost of confidence, so I was all ready for the evening.

So I arrive at the Muddy Farmer, and just like the name suggests I have arrived in what is basically a bogan tavern. Most of the men there are either hobos, old dirty men or missing massive amounts of teeth (I have nothing against people missing teeth! Just if your missing say every second front tooth on both top and bottom jaws you might want to do something about that or you will scare the pretty ladies). The women have that horrible screeching way about talking and say things "All those bitches don't like me because I have personality!". At first Cathy, Missy and myself (Cathy and Missy are the two I met at Pizza Hut, I mentioned them in an early post =P) just hung out at the bottom of the tavern playing pool by ourselves but soon enough we were accosted.

Two men approached as and asked if we three lovely ladies were up for a game of doubles. Cathy agreed immediately and we waited slightly fearful of these men's re-approach. Eventually they returned as as I felt I was the worst of the three of us at pool (and we wanted to win god damnit) I didn't partake in the game and tried to avoid eye contact with these two very strange men. Eventually one approached me and I was terrified (not to mention a little drunk), he sidled up to me and said "How tall are you, six what?". "Three, six three," I stammered in reply, terrified my voice would give me away. "Jesus, you tall women make me feel like less of man," he grinned inanely. "But your damn sexy," he quickly appended.

I didn't know how to deal with this exactly, this strange, bad smelling, tooth missing man... thought I was sexy? Well at least I seem to passing I thought happily to myself. This mood was helped along by the amount of fun I was having, but this 'passing' continued throughout the night.

So what does this mean? In an alcohol filled, dimly lit bar people automatically assume I am female. Hell, for all I know it may be something that exists outside these set circumstances. But regardless I made it! I managed to pass in public ^^

- Fae