W3C (The web consortium)

The W3C is the organisation that controls the very internet itself. Most know the W3C organise such things as the validation for HTML, PHP and CSS. They even organise what domain names should go with what and how exactly you should create your web pages. But there is a dark and shady secret that they hide.

To most the acronym W3C stands for World Wide Web Consortium, but few no it's true know its true identity. It is actually the World Wide Wizard Consortium and they control the world's internet through archaic and magical means. Those few web developers who realise this are magically silenced through a small php term that turns all their php into the words 'Silence is golden' (That's true shit, google that!). Though those few who are allowed to know this truth are given benifits. For example see this code that permeates the latest site I built:

"This bird is a familiar summoned and placed here in accordance to the W3C (World Wide Wizard Committee). It protects the page from malware and small rodents."

(unfortunately blogger blocks me from being able to show ascii art but you can see the source at http://www.new-growth.com/SYWTBAA/)

Thanks to the world wide wizard I can protect my web pages from more than just viruses!

The draw back of knowing this wonderful truth is the feeling of dread when you try to validate a web page. To your average web developer when they submit their page all they have running through their head is the thought of a small web program checking through some automated process checking for errors. In truth the W3C exist out of time, and every time a page is submitted the committee meets to discus the page.

These meetings can be benign with comments as "This page is fine, as long as they understand the danger of using the UTF-8 encoding" to "the fool, FOOL! Does he not understand the danger he is in?! name is deprecated term.. DEPRECATED!" and "Oh my god, he's using the alignment of text to centre an image!! Does he not understand the tear he could rip in SPACE AND TIME!".

For me writing a new page for the web is a dangerous and scary task.

- Fae